listening to Kristene Mueller all night.
she messes me up.
God speaks through her music so clearly to me.
it's like the words she wrote, were meant for me, just me, to hear.
one line in particular... it kills me....
"I don't want any other lover...."
"all my devotion belongs to the Lord..."
it's tough to say that.
it's this weird struggle I always find myself in.
all these longings, all these needs, all these desires.
i'm constantly looking to Jeremy to fill them all.
I don't want any other lover---I just want Jeremy.
but then I remember....
what I am here for.
who my devotion belongs to.
so it kills me everytime....
tears, everytime.
it's so my desire to live like God is all that matters to me...
but I just can't.
and maybe that's not what He intends?
as a wife, Jeremy is up there, right after God...
and so often it seems like the line blurs....
"take it all.... just give me Jesus..."
can I live that?
can I say that?
hold true when God takes away?
believe His love is sufficient?
whew..
heavy thoughts.
i'm not bumming out. . .
just getting out some words.
loves-a.
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