4.4.10 Easter

so Lent is over.
here's what I learned....
sacrifice is good and essential to my faith. I live a simple life, but a life full of luxury nonetheless. A life that gets so busy that I often find myself caught up in a whirlwind, forgetting my purpose here on earth.
Today I remembered.
Today I got to love on a friend of mine. Offer up encouragement and advice. Love. Listen as they bore their soul. Love.
I'm not sure what has happened with this little town that I live in...but I feel like so much evil has surfaced.....and it's all around me. I'm starting to feel like those new buds on the trees outside that just got hammered by the wind and the rain. Wondering when it's going to end...but it's not me that's hurting---it's those around me, getting hurt, hurting themselves. And my heart is just broken for them. So I guess I am hurting for those out there in the storm. Hardest part.....I don't feel like I am close enough to speak into their lives, or that even if I did, they wouldn't receive it how I mean it. . . . Ish. How do I explain it...... I'm not close to people here like I used to be, which saddens me, but it's so much easier to hear God when you're not caught up in the drama. I miss the community though. I miss having a church family that I can fit into. I miss having people to call when I'm bored.
Life is good nonetheless. God has been speaking to me about my future lately. And it's so wonderful to hear Him and see Him working in my life. It's so freaking exciting to see what the future holds. I'm in the Word every day again, which I'm eating up... it's incredible how stories I've read countless times, practically punch me in the face with a new understanding.
.............anyway.
Going up to Oregon for a few days with my mom this week. Grandpa isn't doing well...he's got a stomach full of cancer, with no option for operation. I have a feeling that it is going to be hard to see him....realizing it just might be my last. . . .
weird thing happened though the other morning... I hopped into the shower and was sudsing up...when all the sudden I was overcome with an urgency to pray for healing in my Grandpa. That God would cure the cancer....outta nowhere, I believed God could do it. Now don't get me wrong, I am a firm believer that God can heal the worst of the sicknesses in this world...but I've never been one that felt I had the authority to pray for it. that morning..I had it though. Not saying that my prayers will keep my Grandpa alive, because sometimes God has other plans, and one thing remains---His plans are always good. but....just feeling that, was a rush.
so I'm looking forward to that trip, going with my mom. Going to see my cousins and aunts and uncles, and my incredible Grandparents. I will forever remember being a little kid, laying away at night, listening to them pray for each and every one of their grandkids, every night. I need that kind of commitment in my life.
anyway....Happy Easter friends, quite a lonely one for me this year. Jeremy is with his family, I'm here. I roasted a duck. Making a mix for my trip. . . sigh...someday I will have a job where I don't have to work weekends..and especially holidays!
loves you all.-amy.