it's all rainy and windy outside....the rain is splattering against the windows and the wind is howling around my apartment. It's quite lovely, actually. This kind of weather makes me feel creative, like I could sit inside and make mix cd's all day long for my friends, and make great collages for the cases. My first thought this morning, though, when I looked out the windows (I love to watch the rain fall...) was "I wish Evan and Nancy could come over for dinner..." Guess I'm missing me some Persons this morning.
Been thinking about people in my life that I feel like I've never had as much time with as I wanted....
Evan and Nancy
Jordan and Bethany
Marty and Becky
Jeff and Melani
Mel and Tysen
Nina and Kenny
Jordan C.
those are the people back "home" that have really been on my mind & in my heart lately... It's just strange that all these people, I haven't spent much of life with (except for a couple of you :)... yet, I feel the biggest connection to them, more than any friends I've ever had. Maybe it's the whole "you always want what you can't have" thing.... well, regardless, I miss them and wish they could all come over for dinner tonight.
*on a side note*
today is the last day of the Master Cleanse for me! SO excited to be able to cook and eat again. I feel good though, I must say, better than my first time. Purposely, I did not weigh myself at the beginning, because I didn't want to base my success on how many lbs. I lost, but on how healthy I felt..and I feel good and like I lost a few lbs., which is great. I'm sure the combination of doing the cleanse and doing the 30 day shred every day has helped.... Would love to get back to how I felt 3 years ago, but I'm pretty happy with where I'm at right now.
*another side note*
went to a show at the Flying M last night..my friends are in a band called Mickey the Jump.... and they blow me away every time I see them...seriously, the passion and excitement that they play with is infectious. I'm so proud of them........such talent, such great sound, man....I hope they get to play music like this forever. Following them up at the show was Wye Oak. Incredible band from Baltimore...do yourself a favor and get one of their albums.
loves-a.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
10.18.10
4 months ago, Jeremy and I drove away from a place I called home for 25 years of my life, Redding. Through the north eastern corner of California, through the barren eastern Oregon, and finally landed in the Treasure Valley, Nampa, Idaho. It's been a good, strange, hard, joyful, tearful, inspiring 4 months to say the least.
2 months ago, I started a new job using my degree as a PSR worker (psychosocial rehabilitationist). This was a big step for me, as many of you know, I was a loyal worker at Sunset Market for the past 10 years it seems. It's been good, strange, hard, joyful, tearful, inspiring 2 months to say the least.
4 days ago, I started the Master Cleanse for the second time around. My caffeine withdrawal headache only lasted for Day 1, unlike last time till Day 3, maybe I'm not drinking as much coffee as I used to. The saltwater in the morning is still gross, but I drink it with ease, all at one, unlike last time.
3 days ago, I started the "30 day shred" dvd by Jillian from Biggest Loser. Man, it's so hard to stick with her for 20 minutes, especially, since I cannot recall the last time I worked out. But I'm excited to be in shape, to lose my pooch, and to look like a smokin' hot wife for Jeremy when he comes home in November.
Yesterday...I had a rough morning. Not sure if it's partly because of when you detox, you typically become more emotional.... but, I was "homesick" like crazy. All I wanted to do was go pick up my sister and drive up to see our Mom and Dad. It didn't help that Jeremy wasn't home to comfort me...and that was another part of it, I just wanted him to be home with me. This is the farthest I've lived from my family, and I think it finally hit me how much I missed being around them. After spending last weekend with them camping in the mountains, fishing at Eagle Lake, sitting around my parents house chit-chatting, I really really missed them. And I knew it was bound to hit me sooner or later..I just wasn't expecting it to leave me teary-eyed for most of the day.
Today...I'm going to practice crocheting, I'm determined to learn this craft! Go to the library and check out some new books. Work with 1 client this afternoon (wish it was more..but nobody called me back today to confirm appts! grrrr). Watch some silly tv shows with Kaysha tonight as we drink our yummy lemonade and laxative tea (ha!).
I love you all... God is so good, all the time.
xo-a.
2 months ago, I started a new job using my degree as a PSR worker (psychosocial rehabilitationist). This was a big step for me, as many of you know, I was a loyal worker at Sunset Market for the past 10 years it seems. It's been good, strange, hard, joyful, tearful, inspiring 2 months to say the least.
4 days ago, I started the Master Cleanse for the second time around. My caffeine withdrawal headache only lasted for Day 1, unlike last time till Day 3, maybe I'm not drinking as much coffee as I used to. The saltwater in the morning is still gross, but I drink it with ease, all at one, unlike last time.
3 days ago, I started the "30 day shred" dvd by Jillian from Biggest Loser. Man, it's so hard to stick with her for 20 minutes, especially, since I cannot recall the last time I worked out. But I'm excited to be in shape, to lose my pooch, and to look like a smokin' hot wife for Jeremy when he comes home in November.
Yesterday...I had a rough morning. Not sure if it's partly because of when you detox, you typically become more emotional.... but, I was "homesick" like crazy. All I wanted to do was go pick up my sister and drive up to see our Mom and Dad. It didn't help that Jeremy wasn't home to comfort me...and that was another part of it, I just wanted him to be home with me. This is the farthest I've lived from my family, and I think it finally hit me how much I missed being around them. After spending last weekend with them camping in the mountains, fishing at Eagle Lake, sitting around my parents house chit-chatting, I really really missed them. And I knew it was bound to hit me sooner or later..I just wasn't expecting it to leave me teary-eyed for most of the day.
Today...I'm going to practice crocheting, I'm determined to learn this craft! Go to the library and check out some new books. Work with 1 client this afternoon (wish it was more..but nobody called me back today to confirm appts! grrrr). Watch some silly tv shows with Kaysha tonight as we drink our yummy lemonade and laxative tea (ha!).
I love you all... God is so good, all the time.
xo-a.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
10.17.10
Been having some quiet time this morning, just me and my Jesus. . .
this song explains my heart right now.
"All my Devotion"-Kristene Mueller
Beautiful Man,
Beautiful God,
You're more than worth my time.
You're more than worth these longings of my heart
Left unfulfilled,
Just for a time.
Beautiful Man,
Beautiful God,
You're more than worth my time.
You're more than worth these longings of my heart
Left unfulfilled,
Just for a time.
And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.
Beautiful Man,
Beautiful God,
You're more than worth my time.
You're more than worth these longings of my heart
Left unfulfilled,
Just for a time.
And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.
And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.
Take it all,
Take it all,
Just give me Jesus,
Just give me Jesus.
Take it all,
Take it all,
Just give me Jesus,
Just give me Jesus.
I don't want any other lovers,
I don't want any other lovers,
I don't want any other lovers,
I don't want any other lovers,
For all my devotion belongs to this Man,
All my devotion belongs to this Man,
All my devotion belongs to this Man,
All my devotion belongs to this Man.
And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.
And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.
this song explains my heart right now.
"All my Devotion"-Kristene Mueller
Beautiful Man,
Beautiful God,
You're more than worth my time.
You're more than worth these longings of my heart
Left unfulfilled,
Just for a time.
Beautiful Man,
Beautiful God,
You're more than worth my time.
You're more than worth these longings of my heart
Left unfulfilled,
Just for a time.
And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.
Beautiful Man,
Beautiful God,
You're more than worth my time.
You're more than worth these longings of my heart
Left unfulfilled,
Just for a time.
And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.
And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.
Take it all,
Take it all,
Just give me Jesus,
Just give me Jesus.
Take it all,
Take it all,
Just give me Jesus,
Just give me Jesus.
I don't want any other lovers,
I don't want any other lovers,
I don't want any other lovers,
I don't want any other lovers,
For all my devotion belongs to this Man,
All my devotion belongs to this Man,
All my devotion belongs to this Man,
All my devotion belongs to this Man.
And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.
And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
10.16.10
God is good beyond words......
that's it....
I could write a whole blog about just how good He is...
and how real He is
and how big He is
and how loving He is
and how gracious He is
but I'll just leave it at this..
God is good beyond words.
loves-a.
that's it....
I could write a whole blog about just how good He is...
and how real He is
and how big He is
and how loving He is
and how gracious He is
but I'll just leave it at this..
God is good beyond words.
loves-a.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
10.14.10
What a day...
woke up to check our bank account to find that Jeremy's last check from work bounced. *sigh* ... I was stressed & worried in an instant...but then had to remind myself that those things are not of God...I'm feeling much better now...after some prayer and some reminders from some dear friends of mine....
in brighter news...
I start the Master Cleanse tomorrow (2nd time doing it!) and am excited about the whole process, as this time I have 2 friends, Chad and Kaysha, that are committing to the 10 day cleanse with me. I think this will make it easier on me--although, last time, I did have to test my strength and cook for Jeremy 2 out of my 10 days...silly me.
as part of a mental/spiritual cleanse....I've decided to sell my iPhone (for financial reasons too)... I've been thinking alot about how much time I waste on that silly phone...and all the silly apps that I use every day. That phone has just made me lazy I think. Sure, I'll miss being able to play Wordswithfriends...and some of the other silly games... and you wonder how I'll get to where I'm going without my Maps app? I plan on actually using real paper maps to navigate my way when I'm on trips!! What a crazy idea, eh? And then I won't be checking my face book all the time, or reading every email I get throughout the day as soon as I get it... I'm looking forward to just being able to actually be where I am, instead of having this little computer with me. Technology, is not all it's cracked up to be, in my opinion. I just want a phone that can call people, text, and maybe take pictures...do they even make those anymore??
anyway.... today is day 2 of being home with Jeremy officially out on tour..and I miss him terribly. I thought it might be easier, since we've done this twice before..but I think that since I love him even more than I did back then--that's why it's hard. But I'm blessed up here--surrounded by great people that make sure I'm not just sitting at home feeling sorry for myself.
oohh---forgot to mention that I was camping in California with my fam this weekend! We had SOOOOOO much fun, but I'll save that for another post, when I get the pictures.
loves-a.
woke up to check our bank account to find that Jeremy's last check from work bounced. *sigh* ... I was stressed & worried in an instant...but then had to remind myself that those things are not of God...I'm feeling much better now...after some prayer and some reminders from some dear friends of mine....
in brighter news...
I start the Master Cleanse tomorrow (2nd time doing it!) and am excited about the whole process, as this time I have 2 friends, Chad and Kaysha, that are committing to the 10 day cleanse with me. I think this will make it easier on me--although, last time, I did have to test my strength and cook for Jeremy 2 out of my 10 days...silly me.
as part of a mental/spiritual cleanse....I've decided to sell my iPhone (for financial reasons too)... I've been thinking alot about how much time I waste on that silly phone...and all the silly apps that I use every day. That phone has just made me lazy I think. Sure, I'll miss being able to play Wordswithfriends...and some of the other silly games... and you wonder how I'll get to where I'm going without my Maps app? I plan on actually using real paper maps to navigate my way when I'm on trips!! What a crazy idea, eh? And then I won't be checking my face book all the time, or reading every email I get throughout the day as soon as I get it... I'm looking forward to just being able to actually be where I am, instead of having this little computer with me. Technology, is not all it's cracked up to be, in my opinion. I just want a phone that can call people, text, and maybe take pictures...do they even make those anymore??
anyway.... today is day 2 of being home with Jeremy officially out on tour..and I miss him terribly. I thought it might be easier, since we've done this twice before..but I think that since I love him even more than I did back then--that's why it's hard. But I'm blessed up here--surrounded by great people that make sure I'm not just sitting at home feeling sorry for myself.
oohh---forgot to mention that I was camping in California with my fam this weekend! We had SOOOOOO much fun, but I'll save that for another post, when I get the pictures.
loves-a.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
10.03.10
A list of things I want to accomplish in the next....3-6 months.
1) Master the art of making biscuits & pie crusts (i'm a cook, my friends, not a baker...)
*my mom and sister are amazing cooks & bakers, so I can be too, right?*
2) Master the art of either crocheting or knitting
*once again, my mom and sister are incredible at this..well crocheting atleast..so a part of me wants to knit, so then I can be the master knitter of the family.. :)*
3) Master the art of sewing, and being able to alter ugly, thrift store finds into sweet, one-of-a-kind outfits just for me.
*I grew up wearing, almost all, homemade clothes by my mom. Eventually I'd like to make my own clothes, pillows, curtains, all that stuff, so I can create the same kind of one of a kind clothes I had growing up*
4) Eat, drink, breathe organic.
*this is a challenge right now, financially, but I've learned that I have SO much I can cut out of my life to make room for buying organic....baby steps though, for now*
5) Make all my own cleaning products (used to do this..but have grown lazy over the past few months).
*seriously, all you really need is vinegar, baking soda, castile soap (which is not even a necessity), salt, lemons, and elbow grease*
6) Eat more vegetables, maybe just eat meat twice a week?
*Jeremy will hate this, I imagine*
7) When I do eat meat, it must be local, organic, free-range.
*Yet another thing that seems out of our budget, but after doing some research, this just makes sense*
8) Start buying all the "new" stuff I need, at thrift stores or discount stores, only.
*thrift storing is a favorite, forgotten past-time of mine and I can't wait to scout the Idaho stores*
9) Getting an old typewriter and actually typing my friends & family letters/cards (Yet another thing I used to do....back in the day).
*of course, I had to get rid of 2 awesome typewriters back in the day...now they have become trendy & expensive...but I bet I can find one for under $10*
10) Exercise atleast 3 but hopefully 5 days a week, and therefore, becoming "fit" Amy...losing that lovely "i've been married 3 years" weight.
*Thanks to Tori, I'm going to be working out to the "Biggest Loser" dvds...that Jillian lady really freaks me out but maybe she's what I need to scare me into making exercise a part of my everyday life*
Just a few things, friends.....sometimes I need to just write things out...and put it out there, for people to read..so check in on me...see how I'm doing. K thx bye.
xo-a.
1) Master the art of making biscuits & pie crusts (i'm a cook, my friends, not a baker...)
*my mom and sister are amazing cooks & bakers, so I can be too, right?*
2) Master the art of either crocheting or knitting
*once again, my mom and sister are incredible at this..well crocheting atleast..so a part of me wants to knit, so then I can be the master knitter of the family.. :)*
3) Master the art of sewing, and being able to alter ugly, thrift store finds into sweet, one-of-a-kind outfits just for me.
*I grew up wearing, almost all, homemade clothes by my mom. Eventually I'd like to make my own clothes, pillows, curtains, all that stuff, so I can create the same kind of one of a kind clothes I had growing up*
4) Eat, drink, breathe organic.
*this is a challenge right now, financially, but I've learned that I have SO much I can cut out of my life to make room for buying organic....baby steps though, for now*
5) Make all my own cleaning products (used to do this..but have grown lazy over the past few months).
*seriously, all you really need is vinegar, baking soda, castile soap (which is not even a necessity), salt, lemons, and elbow grease*
6) Eat more vegetables, maybe just eat meat twice a week?
*Jeremy will hate this, I imagine*
7) When I do eat meat, it must be local, organic, free-range.
*Yet another thing that seems out of our budget, but after doing some research, this just makes sense*
8) Start buying all the "new" stuff I need, at thrift stores or discount stores, only.
*thrift storing is a favorite, forgotten past-time of mine and I can't wait to scout the Idaho stores*
9) Getting an old typewriter and actually typing my friends & family letters/cards (Yet another thing I used to do....back in the day).
*of course, I had to get rid of 2 awesome typewriters back in the day...now they have become trendy & expensive...but I bet I can find one for under $10*
10) Exercise atleast 3 but hopefully 5 days a week, and therefore, becoming "fit" Amy...losing that lovely "i've been married 3 years" weight.
*Thanks to Tori, I'm going to be working out to the "Biggest Loser" dvds...that Jillian lady really freaks me out but maybe she's what I need to scare me into making exercise a part of my everyday life*
Just a few things, friends.....sometimes I need to just write things out...and put it out there, for people to read..so check in on me...see how I'm doing. K thx bye.
xo-a.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
10.02.10
Yes yes, it has been a long time coming, my friends. I have not abandoned my blog...but instead, every time I sat down to write...my mind would be flooded with thoughts, dreams, ideas, lyrics, verses, etc...
you get the idea
The past 3 months have been a time of reflection for me. Moving to Idaho may have been the best thing I've done for my soul. I'm hardly working (which is + and a - ) and therefore, have hardly had any money to do things with.
So instead....
I've been sitting...
reading..
praying...
journaling..
spending time with like minded folks..
dreaming..
hanging with my love..
Living in Redding, working full-time, I never had this much time on my hands..to just sit and think. To dwell on all the possibilities God has for me. To dream---to truly dream, and to believe that God is breaking and shaping me each day, so that I'll be ready when those dreams come to fruition. I've become a more emotional being that ever before, finding joy and tears are quite often best friends. Living in Redding...I had some great people around me... but I didn't have anyone in my life there, pushing me towards who I'm destined to be. . . and I think up here, I've caught a taste of what it's like to be surrounded by people that are going to support you and push you, because they love you.
so...
where am I at now, you ask??
well....
-Jeremy leaves for tour on Monday for a month. . . *sigh*..I sigh because Jeremy has really only been here with me in Nampa for 2 out of the 4 months we've been here. . . so it's bittersweet to send him off again....but I'm grateful for the opportunity he's getting to play with Matt and actually get paid!
-We're going camping with my family next weekend in California (going to be an incredible weekend!)
-I'm going to do the Master Cleanse when I get back, with some friends this time, I'm a strong person and all, but it was SO hard doing it on my own.
-I'm going to start exercising at least 3 days a week.... I turn 29 next month (what the heck!?!) and I have to start taking better care of myself.
-I've been reading books like crazy these days.... books that are inspiring me to eat organic, make everything I can possibly make-instead of going to the grocery store, shop at 2nd hand stores for clothes, and overall be grateful for what I currently have, and stop wishing for things that I don't.
-Dreams are becoming an exciting occurrence for me... dreams of owning some land (for some reason it's always on the coast of California?) and having a "retreat" that tired souls can come to for a few days, a week, a month..or however long it takes to restore their souls..and of course, we'll have a huge garden, some chickens, maybe a cow, tons of flowers and herbs, a few barn cats, and a lazy dog sleeping all day long on the front porch.
-Dreams of living a simple life...without all this junk that gets in between me and God. All the noise that muffles His voice in my life.
-Dreams of not putting so much value in material things.
-I'm thinking about getting rid of my iPhone... it has become way more than a phone to me, and I hate that....I don't want to be dependent on a phone...or feel like anytime someone emails me or facebooks me, I have to go check it right then--regardless of what I'm doing or who I'm with.
-I'm thinking I'm going to stop dying my hair.... you think this may not be a big deal...but I've got quite a bunch of gray hairs that have appeared on my head in the past few years...but, I just want to embrace them, and be me. Gray hair and all. Is that true beauty? We'll see, I'm just at a point where I want to be as natural as I can....plus, we just don't have the money for it these days.
-I think I finally am feeling alive.
so that's it....
that's what's been happening in the past few months. Man..it feels good to write...I'm sure I'll be doing a lot of this once Jeremy is gone....even more time on my hands.
I love you all and hope each day you are being pushed closer towards who you are intended to be.
xo-a.
oh yea..p.s. to hear a bit of my heart the past few months, listen to this song...props to my brother, Christian for blogging about it (days ago...hint hint, Christian... ;)
you get the idea
The past 3 months have been a time of reflection for me. Moving to Idaho may have been the best thing I've done for my soul. I'm hardly working (which is + and a - ) and therefore, have hardly had any money to do things with.
So instead....
I've been sitting...
reading..
praying...
journaling..
spending time with like minded folks..
dreaming..
hanging with my love..
Living in Redding, working full-time, I never had this much time on my hands..to just sit and think. To dwell on all the possibilities God has for me. To dream---to truly dream, and to believe that God is breaking and shaping me each day, so that I'll be ready when those dreams come to fruition. I've become a more emotional being that ever before, finding joy and tears are quite often best friends. Living in Redding...I had some great people around me... but I didn't have anyone in my life there, pushing me towards who I'm destined to be. . . and I think up here, I've caught a taste of what it's like to be surrounded by people that are going to support you and push you, because they love you.
so...
where am I at now, you ask??
well....
-Jeremy leaves for tour on Monday for a month. . . *sigh*..I sigh because Jeremy has really only been here with me in Nampa for 2 out of the 4 months we've been here. . . so it's bittersweet to send him off again....but I'm grateful for the opportunity he's getting to play with Matt and actually get paid!
-We're going camping with my family next weekend in California (going to be an incredible weekend!)
-I'm going to do the Master Cleanse when I get back, with some friends this time, I'm a strong person and all, but it was SO hard doing it on my own.
-I'm going to start exercising at least 3 days a week.... I turn 29 next month (what the heck!?!) and I have to start taking better care of myself.
-I've been reading books like crazy these days.... books that are inspiring me to eat organic, make everything I can possibly make-instead of going to the grocery store, shop at 2nd hand stores for clothes, and overall be grateful for what I currently have, and stop wishing for things that I don't.
-Dreams are becoming an exciting occurrence for me... dreams of owning some land (for some reason it's always on the coast of California?) and having a "retreat" that tired souls can come to for a few days, a week, a month..or however long it takes to restore their souls..and of course, we'll have a huge garden, some chickens, maybe a cow, tons of flowers and herbs, a few barn cats, and a lazy dog sleeping all day long on the front porch.
-Dreams of living a simple life...without all this junk that gets in between me and God. All the noise that muffles His voice in my life.
-Dreams of not putting so much value in material things.
-I'm thinking about getting rid of my iPhone... it has become way more than a phone to me, and I hate that....I don't want to be dependent on a phone...or feel like anytime someone emails me or facebooks me, I have to go check it right then--regardless of what I'm doing or who I'm with.
-I'm thinking I'm going to stop dying my hair.... you think this may not be a big deal...but I've got quite a bunch of gray hairs that have appeared on my head in the past few years...but, I just want to embrace them, and be me. Gray hair and all. Is that true beauty? We'll see, I'm just at a point where I want to be as natural as I can....plus, we just don't have the money for it these days.
-I think I finally am feeling alive.
so that's it....
that's what's been happening in the past few months. Man..it feels good to write...I'm sure I'll be doing a lot of this once Jeremy is gone....even more time on my hands.
I love you all and hope each day you are being pushed closer towards who you are intended to be.
xo-a.
oh yea..p.s. to hear a bit of my heart the past few months, listen to this song...props to my brother, Christian for blogging about it (days ago...hint hint, Christian... ;)