12/20/10

Goodbye blogspot.
Hello tumblr.
loves-a.

12.05.10

Been reflecting this morning. . .
thinking back from where I've came
remembering the good times and the bad
thinking about the future
dreaming of doors opening
realizing how simple it all is
..................
listening to iTunes on shuffle this morning
reading through old blogs
thinking about this holiday season
a couple of blogs I wrote back in the day
reminded me of the important things
I love giving gifts...
I hate spending money on myself...
I'm just not good at it (which I think is a good quality of mine)
but this year... we're probably the brokest (yea that's not a word I know) we've ever been
so much that there will be no gift giving....
but lots of time spent loving..being..living
and maybe making mix cds...
........
i've been missing my family pretty bad lately...still.
But we get to see them this weekend...
reuniting in the lovely Bend, Oregon for 3 nights/4days
it will be glorious...
I don't care if we even leave the house..
just want to spend time hanging around the kitchen with them
sitting by the fire
my family...they're amazing.
................
I think there will be some exciting things to blog about in the future (and no, I am not pregnant!)...
I just feel like good stuff is going to happen.
love you all.
-a.

11.7.1x2

Ok...I'm really going to try to do this blogging about cooking thing again... just for you, Ninja ;)
This week..I didn't really cook much, still being as frugal as possible until Jeremy gets home from tour, and therefore, gets paid. So this week's exciting cooking adventure didn't happen until Friday night, when my friends, Laura and Kaysha, invited me over for dinner. These girls are great, and so much fun to be in their tiny little kitchen with. Well, the kitchen isn't that small, but the lack of counter space makes it seem like we're always in each others' way....but I kind of like that.
Anyway, I asked Laura if I could do anything to help, as the only thing that was cooking, was the rice in the rice cooker (way to go, Kaysha! :) And her response was that I could get the chicken cooking. Done. On a whim, Laura (the ever talented and daring baker among us) decided to make these home-made dumplings, filled with her (amazing!) home-made applesauce....So, I was more than willing to help her with cooking dinner...
So, I got the chicken nice and browned and then asked Laura if I could do anything else. Sure, saute the garlic and shallots until they're crispy. Okay, I can do that. Next, deglaze the pan with some chicken stock. Yep, can do that too. Now, add some heavy cream. Done. Next, some freshly minced tarragon and how about some lemon zest. Done and done. Time to eat.
Essentially, I cooked a delicious dinner, Tarragon Chicken. I teased Laura about inviting me over for dinner and then making me cook...but I enjoyed EVERY minute of it....here are my reasons why...
(for those of you that think I'm an amazing cook...I'm not that amazing...)
-I follow recipes
-I occasionally mix things up a bit, but normally not after following the recipe, strictly, the first time
-I felt empowered (such a strange word to use....)
-I felt creative
-I felt natural
.....plus, it was one of the best meals I've had in a long time......Laura, thank you for making me make dinner ;)
so let's see...a recipe...
saute your chicken in some olive oil until browned and cooked through... and don't forget to season with salt and pepper (this was the only time I used S&P too...and it was the best sauce I think I've ever had)
-I left the chicken in the pan while I made the sauce (in the same pan), but you could remove it after cooking and then add back in after you've completed the sauce
-add a couple cloves minced garlic and 1 shallot thinly sliced (two of my favorite vegetables) and cook till crisp, but not burnt (you shouldn't have to add any extra oil..)
-deglaze the pan with a cup or so of chicken stock, scraping up all those browned-goodness-crumbs on the bottom of the pan
-sprinkle some flour over the surface (or you could mix it in with the cream if you're afraid of lumps...but I didn't have any) and whisk until you get a creamy consistency (I guess you could actually add the flour in after you've cooked the shallots & garlic, that's how most recipes go...but the flour was an after thought, to ensure an extra creamy sauce..)
-once the flour is incorporated, stir in a cup of heavy cream (you could use 1/2&1/2 of even regular milk..but really? ... c'mon, you deserve a rich, creamy sauce every once in a while) and cook until sauce has thickened up nicely.
-add a little lemon zest and then squeeze 1/2 a lemon into the sauce and stir....
-add a couple tbs. of freshly minced tarragon
and wha-la...dinner is done. I highly recommend serving over rice or maybe a smaller pasta, as you don't want to lose any of the sauce on your plate, and that way, you don't have to be rude and lick your plate.
So there ya go...please make this some time..you won't regret it. Oh, and as always, this meal is best when shared.
loves-a.

11.07.10

Woke up this morning with a smile on my face...
(despite the fact that I woke up to the sound of my neighbors' little kids singing in the shower, at the top of their lungs...)
seeing the pink and orange horizon, as I woke up on Jeremy's side of the bed, was just what I needed this a.m.
One thing I love about living in our place...having our bedroom on the second floor, allows me to sleep with the blinds open, so I can awake to the glimpses of the sun making it's appearance.
I think that extra hour of sleep was rather nice as well...
(despite the fact that I still woke up countless times during the night, hopefully, that will end as soon as Jeremy is home..)

I had a good week. I have some really great friends up here. Great women in my life that are such a joy in my life to be around. For the earlier part of Jeremy being gone on tour, I felt like I was in the wrong place. I was feeling sorry for myself and staying in...not wanting to impose on anybodies lives up here. I was feeling like we'd made the wrong decision in picking up and moving to Idaho. I was feeling like maybe we'd moved for all the wrong reasons.....
but then....I started hanging out with our friends up here, again. And I was reminded that yea...this is where we're supposed to be right now. It's amazing to think that we've been here almost half a year (okay, not until December). . . and how much I've changed. Or should I say, how much I am like my old self nowadays.
the Amy that....
talked with Jesus every day
was able to just hang out with no stresses
made people laugh
laughed
wrote in her journal on a semi-regular basis
was able to find joy in the mundane things of life
dreamed, constantly
wasn't so caught up in work, to actually enjoy life.
Anyway...
this book I've been reading (Forgotten God-by Francis Chan) has been just what I needed in my life right now (in addition to once again reading my Bible daily). I am such an independent person with so much of my life...that it has slowly invaded my faith in God. Yes, I know that God is always in control, but being able to lay down "my" control...that's another thing. Control...it's a funny thing to think about sometimes....
I mean, really, what is so attractive about control?
Yet, I was always trying to have control over....
-finances
-the next 5 years
-my marriage
-daily life
-my faith
Yet, in trying to have control over my life, I have lost a certain part of my faith. .. that is a vital part of continuing my relationship with Jesus...and not only continuing, but growing... developing.

"I think we could all agree that living 'according to our sinful flesh' is not what is intended for us as children of God. Yet even so, we often choose to face life's issues and circumstances in exactly the same way as someone without the Spirit of God. We worry, strive, and grieve no differently than unbelievers. While it is true that we are humans like everyone else, it is also true that we are humans with the Spirit of God dwelling in us. Yet, whether consciously or not, we essentially say to God, 'I know You raised Christ from the dead; but the fact is my problems are just too much for You and I need to deal with them by myself.'"


I'm over living my life that way. I'm over dealing with problems on my own. I'm over having control.
I'm ready to trust again. I'm ready to believe in the power of God. I'm ready to recognize the Spirit of God moving in my life.

11.02.10

something I've been chewing on out of a book I'm reading...

"I think the fear of God failing us leads us to 'cover for God.' This means we ask less, expect less, and are satisfied with less because we are afraid to ask for or expect more. We even convince ourselves that we don't want more---that we have all the 'God' we need or could want. I can't imagine how much it pains God to see His children hold back from relationship with the Holy Spirit out of fear that He won't come through. How much it grieves him to watch His children ignore the promises He's mad throughout Scriptures due to fear that those promises won't be kept! Empowering His children with the strength of the Holy Spirit is something the Father wants to do. It's not something we have to talk Him into. he genuinely wants to see us walk in His strength.
When Jesus was on earth, He said to His disciples, 'If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!' (Luke 11:13). God is a good Father who wants to give good gifts to His children. Sometimes I forget this truth and beg as though He needs convincing. It's as ridiculous as if my kids thought they needed to beg me to hug them. It delights my heart to hug them.
Do you believe that God in heave gives His Spirit to those who ask? Do you really believe it? This truth and what it means is so incredible that no one who actually believes it could then fail to ask for the Holy Spirit."

~Forgotten God~Francis Chan

10.31.10

Happy Halloween! No dressing up for me this year....Oh wait, I normally don't dress up, that's right...but, I am wearing my black deep-V, does that count?
Just mixed up a batch of peanut butter cookie dough. Couldn't help but think of my mom, as I mixed with my old wooden spoon (remember when I blogged about it?, my favorite utensil...) and followed the recipe out of her old Betty Crocker cookbook. I love looking through this cookbook, noticing the pages with two decade old buttery fingerprints, a brownie batter smear here, a biscuit dough crumb there....
~I had a great childhood~
Anytime I make peanut butter cookies, I can't help but laugh, remembering the one time Jill & I were playing "kitchen"....she was the instructor and I was the student, naturally. Anyway, to make a long story short, instead of 1/4 tsp. of salt, I decided to add 1/4 cup of salt. Needless to say, the dog wouldn't even eat the dough (why we even tried to feed it to her?? Poor, Dusty..) and I failed "kitchen" miserably that day.
This got me thinking...
cooking and being in the kitchen
will always be homey to me.
Full of....
love
memories
joy
hope
laughter
tears
and of course....
delicious baked goods (typically from my mother or sister)
and
savory dishes
prepared, not out of feelings of responsibility
but out of desire and love.

oh.. p.s., that soup I made yesterday, it's even better today.
loves-a.

10.30.10x2

Per request of my old roommate and long time friend, Ninja, I've decided that at least once a week, I would post something that I've cooked or baked that week....Sometimes I dream about being a foodie blogger..some days I think I could do it..some days I realize I'm not that good with my words. And..I totally forget to take pictures, which is really the whole point of a food blog
...you lure readers in with tantalizing photos of a perfectly roasted turkey or a flawless cheesecake..
good thing there is the world wide web...otherwise you'd just have to imagine how yummy this soup was...
Now, Ninja and I are kind of in the same boat, both of our husbands are gone (granted, I think she wins, with having Kenny deployed in Iraq, while mine is playing music at a bar in So. Cal. tonight)..anyway, cooking for one can be quite depressing, full of salads and grilled cheese. Or you make a dish the way you would to serve 4-6 people, then you're eating that dish for the next 5 days. . .Good thing, Ninja and I are both good cooks, so we don't mind eating our delicious cooking for days on end (and we're both too frugally minded to even contemplate throwing out leftovers--especially homemade leftovers!
so, enough with the writing (see, I just blab..)
we'll call this Hearty Vegetable and Chicken Soup..the original recipe, I think I saw in an old Rachael Ray magazine of mine..and it was called Hearty Chicken and Vegetable Soup..but with the amount of veggies I put in mine, it only made sense to make veggies the star. I think the thing that puts this soup in a class above other Chicken & Vegetable soups, is that you roast the tomatoes...seriously, don't skip this step.
ingredients:
1 lb. plum tomatoes, quartered lengthwise
extra virgin olive oil
salt & pepper
1 lb. boneless skinless chicken breasts
2 onions, chopped
3 ribs celery, chopped
5-6 carrots, peeled & chopped
1 lb. potatoes (I used fingerling but yukon gold would be delicious too) peeled & chopped
1 zucchini halved, and sliced into moons (I used 1/2 a reg. zuc. and a yellow zuc. b/c that's what I had)
4 cups chicken broth (normally I have homemade, but this time I used a box Imagine Organic Free Range--which is my favorite boxed broth)
1/2 lb green beans, trimmed and halved (I used frozen, b/c once again, it's what I had)
a handful of parsley, minced

First step.....
Heat your oven to 500, yes this is hot, but you're going to roast the tomatoes quick-style. Place the tomatoes on a parchment lined baking sheet and drizzle with evoo (extra virgin olive oil) and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Slide those puppies into the oven for 20 minutes. *Around the 10 minute mark I noticed quite a bit of smoke coming from my oven...terrified that my smoke alarm was going off--note, it's not a bad thing for smoke alarms to go off, but this is the first time I've lived in a place that has sprinklers too--and I don't know HOW much smoke it takes to set those babies off* Anyway, the parchment just got a little charred is all and the tomatoes looked delicious. When they're done, put them in a bowl, with any juices that accumulated too.
Second step....
Did you chop all your veggies? You could totally do them now if you wanted, while the tomatoes are roasting. In the mean time, heat your soup pot over medium heat with 1 tbs. of evoo and add the chicken, cooking for 10 minutes, flipping just once. Oh yes, season with salt and pepper, I always figure that goes without saying.. and I imagine that the chicken would be just as good if you roasted it as well, I might try that next time. Anyway, once the chicken is done, set it on a plate and let it cool for at least 10 minutes, so it's cool enough to handle. I shred mine b/c I like the texture of that better in soup, as opposed to chopping it..but do whatever you'd like. That's the beauty of soups :)
Third step...
In the same pot you cooked your chicken in, heat another tbs. of evoo over medium and add your onion, cooking it till soft...about 5 minutes or so (at this point...I thought about putting in some garlic, because I tend to put garlic in everything, but decided against it, wanting all the other veggies' flavors to shine. So after the onion is soft, throw in the carrot, celery, and potatoes (oh yes, don't forget the salt and pepper back when you're cooking up the onions!) Now, you're probably wondering why I didn't just put the carrots and celery in at the same time as the onions, well, good question...going the traditional route of the mirepoix (the holy trinity of the culinary world), you get a lot of soft textures, and I wanted to have a little variance in my soup........
anyway..back to the soup.
So after you add the carrots and what not, go ahead and throw in your broth and cook for about 5 minutes, just simmering.
Fourth step...
Put in your green beans, zucchini, and tomatoes w/their juices, and let this simmer for about 10 minutes, until your potatoes are tender, and then add your shredded chicken (oh yea, I forgot to mention that step...shred your chicken once it's cool :) and your minced parsley.
Then I let it sit on medium low heat for another 10 minutes to let all the flavors blend. So there ya go..
The only thing I would say would make this better is.....
a crusty loaf of bread for dipping
a few friends to share
an apple pie for dessert
loves-a.

10.30.10

Having a nice, lazy Saturday thus far... slept in till 8. . . lounged around, drank a couple cups of coffee, ate a breakfast of Hemp toast, slathered with Trader Joe's peanut butter (thanks Mom for sending me a jar!) and a sliced banana. Watched a little bit of the news...then turned it off, the news quickly depresses me. Got my butt in gear and did my workout, slacked yesterday and didn't do it...so it hurt extra today...karma...dangit. Took a long, hot shower...put on an old pair of jeans and t-shirt that actually are starting to fit me better! Went down to the mailbox to drop our rent check in the mail...but the mail man came early today..and the September issue of Bon Appetit was in our box..that was a nice surprise, sure wasn't expecting them to send me the back issues since I signed up in September...one of the best $3 I've ever spent, I do believe. Had a simple lunch of leftover brown rice & pine nuts, topped with some yum sauce (I do think I'll be putting that on everything from now on....) and now....working on a couple mixes for some precious people in my life....
sometimes making mixes can be overwhelming, 20.5 days worth of music on my iTunes, it can be hard to canvass the entire music library...So quite often, I put it on shuffle and wait for the inspiration to kick in....And actually, my iTunes (and my iPod in the car) stay on shuffle at least 80% of the time, a good way to hear music I haven't heard in a while...
so, here's what my iTunes has played the past 10 songs...with maybe my favorite line or two....

#1 Ryan Adams "You Will Always Be The Same"
-------- Go on little girl, feet twirl, go and make him smile-------
#2 Minus the Bear "Dr. L'ling"
#3 AU4 "Everything's Moving"
#4 Phil Wickham "Holy, Holy, Holy"
#5 M.I.A. "World Town"
-------Every wall you build I'll knock it down to the floor--------
#6 The Beatles "Hey Jude"
------Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better------
#7 Fionn Regan "Bunker or Basement"
#8 Wilco "Handshake Drugs"
#9 Au Revoir Simone "Shadows"
-------I'm moving on, I hope you're coming with me. Cause I'm not strong without you------
#10 Karate "First Release"
-------When I'm alone, I want to feel like one kid getting stoned, only to keep things a little more clear, just to be able to hold on to a simple idea. And when I'm with you, I want to notice everything as we do, to catch every bit bit of blur, squint, chill, and red, from sand dunes, San Soliel, and sunsets------


loves-a.

10.28.10

I can't believe how windy it is outside right now....I feel like I'm over on the Coast..or maybe it's that I wish I was! Either way, I think winter is definitely settling in up here in Idaho, and it won't be too long before I either discover I really DO love the cold or if that's just something I've always said because I hated the heat in Redding.
So this time next week, Jeremy will be home!! Oh man, I seriously cannot wait, my life just doesn't seem complete when he's not by my side. I feel like such a different person, like I'm not myself unless he's around. I haven't decided if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I take delight in knowing that we must complement each other well. The other night he text me the sweetest thing about he couldn't wait to get home, so he could be a better husband to me...doing the dishes, cleaning the house, drawing me a bubble bath..just made my heart SO full. I've definitely learned to miss him, all over again, and I think this is the most I've ever missed him in my life.
Come the end of January, it will be Jeremy's turn to learn to miss me (not that he doesn't miss me while he's out on the road...but I mean, him being home and missing me:)... Bought my plane ticket the other day to fly out to California the end of January for 9 days. I am SO excited about this trip for many reasons...
#1 It will be my first trip w/o Jeremy since we've been married (minus a couple weekend getaways with my sister and mom)
#2 It will be my first time flying by myself...haha, not so scary since it's only a 45 minute flight!
#3 I will get to spend 9 days with my mom--I am SO looking forward to this...because my mom is amazing...
#4 I'll get to see some of my favorite people on this trip
#5 I'll get to go to two of my favorite places...the northern California coast and Ashland, Or.
and I'm sure there are many more..but it's going to be great..I'm flying into Reno where my parents will pick me up..and I'm sure we'll spend a couple of days there..then drive down to Redding and see my sister and Erich..maybe spend a night or two there..drive over to the Coast, see Jeff & Melani for a day or two..drive up the coast and cut over to Ashland...oh man, it's going to be amazing.. I'm already praying that the weather will cooperate for us taking a road trip :)
So anyway...guess I should get myself ready for work. loves you all.
loves-a.

10.24.10

it's all rainy and windy outside....the rain is splattering against the windows and the wind is howling around my apartment. It's quite lovely, actually. This kind of weather makes me feel creative, like I could sit inside and make mix cd's all day long for my friends, and make great collages for the cases. My first thought this morning, though, when I looked out the windows (I love to watch the rain fall...) was "I wish Evan and Nancy could come over for dinner..." Guess I'm missing me some Persons this morning.
Been thinking about people in my life that I feel like I've never had as much time with as I wanted....
Evan and Nancy
Jordan and Bethany
Marty and Becky
Jeff and Melani
Mel and Tysen
Nina and Kenny
Jordan C.
those are the people back "home" that have really been on my mind & in my heart lately... It's just strange that all these people, I haven't spent much of life with (except for a couple of you :)... yet, I feel the biggest connection to them, more than any friends I've ever had. Maybe it's the whole "you always want what you can't have" thing.... well, regardless, I miss them and wish they could all come over for dinner tonight.
*on a side note*
today is the last day of the Master Cleanse for me! SO excited to be able to cook and eat again. I feel good though, I must say, better than my first time. Purposely, I did not weigh myself at the beginning, because I didn't want to base my success on how many lbs. I lost, but on how healthy I felt..and I feel good and like I lost a few lbs., which is great. I'm sure the combination of doing the cleanse and doing the 30 day shred every day has helped.... Would love to get back to how I felt 3 years ago, but I'm pretty happy with where I'm at right now.
*another side note*
went to a show at the Flying M last night..my friends are in a band called Mickey the Jump.... and they blow me away every time I see them...seriously, the passion and excitement that they play with is infectious. I'm so proud of them........such talent, such great sound, man....I hope they get to play music like this forever. Following them up at the show was Wye Oak. Incredible band from Baltimore...do yourself a favor and get one of their albums.
loves-a.

10.18.10

4 months ago, Jeremy and I drove away from a place I called home for 25 years of my life, Redding. Through the north eastern corner of California, through the barren eastern Oregon, and finally landed in the Treasure Valley, Nampa, Idaho. It's been a good, strange, hard, joyful, tearful, inspiring 4 months to say the least.
2 months ago, I started a new job using my degree as a PSR worker (psychosocial rehabilitationist). This was a big step for me, as many of you know, I was a loyal worker at Sunset Market for the past 10 years it seems. It's been good, strange, hard, joyful, tearful, inspiring 2 months to say the least.
4 days ago, I started the Master Cleanse for the second time around. My caffeine withdrawal headache only lasted for Day 1, unlike last time till Day 3, maybe I'm not drinking as much coffee as I used to. The saltwater in the morning is still gross, but I drink it with ease, all at one, unlike last time.
3 days ago, I started the "30 day shred" dvd by Jillian from Biggest Loser. Man, it's so hard to stick with her for 20 minutes, especially, since I cannot recall the last time I worked out. But I'm excited to be in shape, to lose my pooch, and to look like a smokin' hot wife for Jeremy when he comes home in November.
Yesterday...I had a rough morning. Not sure if it's partly because of when you detox, you typically become more emotional.... but, I was "homesick" like crazy. All I wanted to do was go pick up my sister and drive up to see our Mom and Dad. It didn't help that Jeremy wasn't home to comfort me...and that was another part of it, I just wanted him to be home with me. This is the farthest I've lived from my family, and I think it finally hit me how much I missed being around them. After spending last weekend with them camping in the mountains, fishing at Eagle Lake, sitting around my parents house chit-chatting, I really really missed them. And I knew it was bound to hit me sooner or later..I just wasn't expecting it to leave me teary-eyed for most of the day.
Today...I'm going to practice crocheting, I'm determined to learn this craft! Go to the library and check out some new books. Work with 1 client this afternoon (wish it was more..but nobody called me back today to confirm appts! grrrr). Watch some silly tv shows with Kaysha tonight as we drink our yummy lemonade and laxative tea (ha!).
I love you all... God is so good, all the time.
xo-a.

10.17.10

Been having some quiet time this morning, just me and my Jesus. . .
this song explains my heart right now.

"All my Devotion"-Kristene Mueller

Beautiful Man,
Beautiful God,
You're more than worth my time.
You're more than worth these longings of my heart
Left unfulfilled,
Just for a time.

Beautiful Man,
Beautiful God,
You're more than worth my time.
You're more than worth these longings of my heart
Left unfulfilled,
Just for a time.

And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.

Beautiful Man,
Beautiful God,
You're more than worth my time.
You're more than worth these longings of my heart
Left unfulfilled,
Just for a time.

And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.
And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.

Take it all,
Take it all,
Just give me Jesus,
Just give me Jesus.

Take it all,
Take it all,
Just give me Jesus,
Just give me Jesus.

I don't want any other lovers,
I don't want any other lovers,
I don't want any other lovers,
I don't want any other lovers,
For all my devotion belongs to this Man,
All my devotion belongs to this Man,
All my devotion belongs to this Man,
All my devotion belongs to this Man.

And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.

And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.

(if you don't have this album..you should probably go buy it right now.)
loves-a.

10.16.10

God is good beyond words......
that's it....
I could write a whole blog about just how good He is...
and how real He is
and how big He is
and how loving He is
and how gracious He is
but I'll just leave it at this..
God is good beyond words.

loves-a.

10.14.10

What a day...
woke up to check our bank account to find that Jeremy's last check from work bounced. *sigh* ... I was stressed & worried in an instant...but then had to remind myself that those things are not of God...I'm feeling much better now...after some prayer and some reminders from some dear friends of mine....
in brighter news...
I start the Master Cleanse tomorrow (2nd time doing it!) and am excited about the whole process, as this time I have 2 friends, Chad and Kaysha, that are committing to the 10 day cleanse with me. I think this will make it easier on me--although, last time, I did have to test my strength and cook for Jeremy 2 out of my 10 days...silly me.
as part of a mental/spiritual cleanse....I've decided to sell my iPhone (for financial reasons too)... I've been thinking alot about how much time I waste on that silly phone...and all the silly apps that I use every day. That phone has just made me lazy I think. Sure, I'll miss being able to play Wordswithfriends...and some of the other silly games... and you wonder how I'll get to where I'm going without my Maps app? I plan on actually using real paper maps to navigate my way when I'm on trips!! What a crazy idea, eh? And then I won't be checking my face book all the time, or reading every email I get throughout the day as soon as I get it... I'm looking forward to just being able to actually be where I am, instead of having this little computer with me. Technology, is not all it's cracked up to be, in my opinion. I just want a phone that can call people, text, and maybe take pictures...do they even make those anymore??
anyway.... today is day 2 of being home with Jeremy officially out on tour..and I miss him terribly. I thought it might be easier, since we've done this twice before..but I think that since I love him even more than I did back then--that's why it's hard. But I'm blessed up here--surrounded by great people that make sure I'm not just sitting at home feeling sorry for myself.
oohh---forgot to mention that I was camping in California with my fam this weekend! We had SOOOOOO much fun, but I'll save that for another post, when I get the pictures.
loves-a.

10.03.10

A list of things I want to accomplish in the next....3-6 months.

1) Master the art of making biscuits & pie crusts (i'm a cook, my friends, not a baker...)
*my mom and sister are amazing cooks & bakers, so I can be too, right?*

2) Master the art of either crocheting or knitting
*once again, my mom and sister are incredible at this..well crocheting atleast..so a part of me wants to knit, so then I can be the master knitter of the family.. :)*

3) Master the art of sewing, and being able to alter ugly, thrift store finds into sweet, one-of-a-kind outfits just for me.
*I grew up wearing, almost all, homemade clothes by my mom. Eventually I'd like to make my own clothes, pillows, curtains, all that stuff, so I can create the same kind of one of a kind clothes I had growing up*

4) Eat, drink, breathe organic.
*this is a challenge right now, financially, but I've learned that I have SO much I can cut out of my life to make room for buying organic....baby steps though, for now*

5) Make all my own cleaning products (used to do this..but have grown lazy over the past few months).
*seriously, all you really need is vinegar, baking soda, castile soap (which is not even a necessity), salt, lemons, and elbow grease*

6) Eat more vegetables, maybe just eat meat twice a week?
*Jeremy will hate this, I imagine*

7) When I do eat meat, it must be local, organic, free-range.
*Yet another thing that seems out of our budget, but after doing some research, this just makes sense*

8) Start buying all the "new" stuff I need, at thrift stores or discount stores, only.
*thrift storing is a favorite, forgotten past-time of mine and I can't wait to scout the Idaho stores*

9) Getting an old typewriter and actually typing my friends & family letters/cards (Yet another thing I used to do....back in the day).
*of course, I had to get rid of 2 awesome typewriters back in the day...now they have become trendy & expensive...but I bet I can find one for under $10*

10) Exercise atleast 3 but hopefully 5 days a week, and therefore, becoming "fit" Amy...losing that lovely "i've been married 3 years" weight.
*Thanks to Tori, I'm going to be working out to the "Biggest Loser" dvds...that Jillian lady really freaks me out but maybe she's what I need to scare me into making exercise a part of my everyday life*

Just a few things, friends.....sometimes I need to just write things out...and put it out there, for people to read..so check in on me...see how I'm doing. K thx bye.
xo-a.

10.02.10

Yes yes, it has been a long time coming, my friends. I have not abandoned my blog...but instead, every time I sat down to write...my mind would be flooded with thoughts, dreams, ideas, lyrics, verses, etc...
you get the idea
The past 3 months have been a time of reflection for me. Moving to Idaho may have been the best thing I've done for my soul. I'm hardly working (which is + and a - ) and therefore, have hardly had any money to do things with.
So instead....
I've been sitting...
reading..
praying...
journaling..
spending time with like minded folks..
dreaming..
hanging with my love..
Living in Redding, working full-time, I never had this much time on my hands..to just sit and think. To dwell on all the possibilities God has for me. To dream---to truly dream, and to believe that God is breaking and shaping me each day, so that I'll be ready when those dreams come to fruition. I've become a more emotional being that ever before, finding joy and tears are quite often best friends. Living in Redding...I had some great people around me... but I didn't have anyone in my life there, pushing me towards who I'm destined to be. . . and I think up here, I've caught a taste of what it's like to be surrounded by people that are going to support you and push you, because they love you.
so...
where am I at now, you ask??
well....
-Jeremy leaves for tour on Monday for a month. . . *sigh*..I sigh because Jeremy has really only been here with me in Nampa for 2 out of the 4 months we've been here. . . so it's bittersweet to send him off again....but I'm grateful for the opportunity he's getting to play with Matt and actually get paid!
-We're going camping with my family next weekend in California (going to be an incredible weekend!)
-I'm going to do the Master Cleanse when I get back, with some friends this time, I'm a strong person and all, but it was SO hard doing it on my own.
-I'm going to start exercising at least 3 days a week.... I turn 29 next month (what the heck!?!) and I have to start taking better care of myself.
-I've been reading books like crazy these days.... books that are inspiring me to eat organic, make everything I can possibly make-instead of going to the grocery store, shop at 2nd hand stores for clothes, and overall be grateful for what I currently have, and stop wishing for things that I don't.
-Dreams are becoming an exciting occurrence for me... dreams of owning some land (for some reason it's always on the coast of California?) and having a "retreat" that tired souls can come to for a few days, a week, a month..or however long it takes to restore their souls..and of course, we'll have a huge garden, some chickens, maybe a cow, tons of flowers and herbs, a few barn cats, and a lazy dog sleeping all day long on the front porch.
-Dreams of living a simple life...without all this junk that gets in between me and God. All the noise that muffles His voice in my life.
-Dreams of not putting so much value in material things.
-I'm thinking about getting rid of my iPhone... it has become way more than a phone to me, and I hate that....I don't want to be dependent on a phone...or feel like anytime someone emails me or facebooks me, I have to go check it right then--regardless of what I'm doing or who I'm with.
-I'm thinking I'm going to stop dying my hair.... you think this may not be a big deal...but I've got quite a bunch of gray hairs that have appeared on my head in the past few years...but, I just want to embrace them, and be me. Gray hair and all. Is that true beauty? We'll see, I'm just at a point where I want to be as natural as I can....plus, we just don't have the money for it these days.
-I think I finally am feeling alive.
so that's it....
that's what's been happening in the past few months. Man..it feels good to write...I'm sure I'll be doing a lot of this once Jeremy is gone....even more time on my hands.
I love you all and hope each day you are being pushed closer towards who you are intended to be.
xo-a.

oh yea..p.s. to hear a bit of my heart the past few months, listen to this song...props to my brother, Christian for blogging about it (days ago...hint hint, Christian... ;)

7.7.2010

so we've moved!
we're here in Nampa, Idaho and loving every minute of it!! Well, Jeremy is back in California finishing up a recording project but hopefully will be home soon! I've really decided that life is so much better when we're together. We have learned so much about marriage over the past six months..and it seems like God is molding and shaping us daily...I get excited thinking about the hard times, realizing that God's at work in our lives....it's really an incredible perspective to have....God's really been testing me to pour out His grace on people in my life..
some I have succeeded...
some I have not...
I've learned so much in the few weeks I've been up here...
about myself..
about people..
about lifestyles..
about impact..
about intentions..
about love..
about faith..
I think that's why i haven't been blogging..I've really been in a time of listening and reflecting. I feel truly blessed that I'm able to take this time off from working..and just recenter myself.... Figure out who I am, completely dependent on God...
it has been amazing.
.......
the group of friends I have up here already feel like long time friends.... even family I would say. Jeremy and I are so excited to live life with these people. Having Sunday dinners together every week, committing ourselves to being intentional......man, I love it. I feel like this is the kind of place I have been searching for all along.
loves-a.

Dear Honda (aka Jacob),
I will miss you greatly. 7 years ago you and I became a pair..... you were only 63K deep....
I can't even remember all the trips we took...
the weather we drove in...
the music we played..
the passengers we hauled...
..
i do remember that one time we went 4-wheeling on accident...sorry about that.
i remember the first time I let Jeremy drive you, which was a big deal, I normally don't let people drive...
i remember when I ripped your side panel off, driving through the snow
i remember the time we got pulled over, well Jeremy was driving, late at night, but got out of a ticket
....
and now... 90K later, I say goodbye.
your new owner seems nice...
what more could an 18 year old boy want?
you'll be perfect for him.
you will be missed.
loves-a.

5.04.10

I'm at a point in my life......
-that the people I surround myself with, I want to invest in their lives, and want to feel the same from them.
-that I don't care about your style, your beliefs, your status, I care about you, and want you to be yourself around me. NoliesNodrama.
-that I am content with sitting at home, reading a good book, instead of drinking the night away at the local watering hole.
-i don't want to waste time on fake friendships and surface relationships.
-i want deep, meaningful relationships.
-i want people that I can be myself around and not feel pressure to be someone else.

the other day I realized.....
-some friends never change, for the good or the bad.
-some friends you pick up with, right where you left off, even if you haven't seen each other in 6+ years.
-some friends inspire you to be a better person, without you even realizing it.
-some friends will always be your friend, regardless of the crap that's happened.
-some friends will never be your friend again, because of the crap that happened.

Really...
I'm a simple girl.
All I want.....
-to live every day in His presence
-to surround myself with love
-to always love
-to always impact positively
-to have genuine people in my life

it's crazy....
--for the last year or so, I haven't felt that here in Redding.
--but since we've decided we're moving, so many incredible people have came into my life.
-old friends and new friends-
--why now? why not last year, when I needed you the most?
--maybe to leave Redding on a good note?
--good memories?

regardless....
-I am happy that those old friendships have been rekindled...
----if we have survived 5 or 6 years with no contact, I know we can survive a 10 hour trip----
-I am blessed by the new friendships
----and plan on spending as much time with YOU before I leave.

I am....
-looking forward to this new chapter in my life.

loves-a.

5.02.10

So it's official...
we are moving to Idaho on June 18th!
Nampa will be our new home....
and I absolutely cannot wait.
It's crazy to me that I've only been there 2 times...
yet, just after the first few days there, I knew I wanted to live there.
The people there are probably the most genuine & sincere people I've ever met.
They're the kind of people you'd want to take home to meet mom & dad.
They're the kind of people you'd want your kids to grow up with.
....
they're the kind of people I can't wait to live life with.
It is weird to me that we're actually doing it...that I'm actually going to move out of Redding!
Been a long time coming...
But I must say...we are not leaving Redding because we hate it here...
it's actually quite nice...
Just not for us, anymore.
....
things I'll miss about Redding:
1) my family is here (well close to here)
2) Whiskeytown lake
3) being 3 hours from the ocean
4) being able to see 2 beautiful mountains, well 3 if you count Balley
5) our house
......
is it strange that I can't think of much more? I know more will come to me..right now I'm more excited about Nampa.
of course I'll miss some of the people here...
but the new life beckons...
ah, adventure----- i can't wait.
loves-a.

4.30.10

So in my quest to live a simpler, more natural life...I have decided to do two things: the master cleanse and start natural birth control.

The cleanse.... I think I'm going to start on Monday.. I have been researching it like crazy and feel like I know the ins and outs pretty well. I have already mentally and spiritually prepared myself for this time, and am actually pretty excited about the "results"....the hardest part will not necessarily be not eating, but not cooking instead. i LOVE to cook....so for 10 days, I'm going to hang up my apron... well, maybe not, I've read a few MC'ers, were able to cook a meal for their family around day 7, without any temptation....so we will see. So this weekend, I'm planning on making a few of my favorite meals: Nacho Spuds, Slow Cooker BBQ Pork Sandwiches, and BBQ Chicken & Potato Packets.... then the rest will be up to my darling husband. I tried desperately to convince him to do the cleanse with me....but guess I'm just not as convincing as I thought I was....Oh well, I do know that I am stubborn enough to do a cleanse by myself :) Pretty sure that in the last couple of weeks, I discovered I'm lactose intolerant... yep. Sucks. Man oh man...I love cheese and don't even get me started on ice cream *sniff sniff Ben&Jerrys*.....but realized the whole dairy thing just doesn't sit well with me... Make sense, since humans were not created to drink cow's milk, but breast milk from their mother.... So since it would be a little weird (and not to mention unheard of) to purchase breast milk, I've opted for Almond milk... and I love it.. So now the hardest part will be the cheese... I think I might first try goats & sheep milk cheeses and if that doesn't work...sigh, does that mean veggie cheese? I don't think I'm a huge fan but haven't really dabbled too much into the fake cheese.
anyway...
as far as the natural birth control, or natural family planning, it just makes sense...and really is the only option that I'm a fan of. I took birth control almost the first 2 years of being married, and suffered from extremely bad headaches...so bad that my doctor suggested I stop taking it because it could be causing blood clots in my brain. Really!??!?! And you prescribed me this in the first place??? Anymore, I'm just so over all the prescription drugs we get from doctors that are "helping" us, when in reality, they're really just pumping us full of chemicals that our bodies may have a reaction too.... anyway.... yes, we could use condoms for the rest of our lives, but really, c'mon people, who wants to do that. And no, I don't want to get an IUD...I have too many moral dilemmas about that to even consider it. So, "taking charge of your fertility" and "Honoring our cycles" now sit on my bedside table. Is this too much information? Well, you know me...and this is my blog after all, I didn't ask you to read it. ;)
I'm sure I'll be blogging more and more throughout my fast.... telling you all in depth about my eliminations... haha, but seriously, I might.
love you all.
-amy

04.29.10

April....where did you go? sheesh. . . seems like just yesterday we were driving back from Idaho, wishing we never had to leave....and that was back in February! Maybe it's how busy we allow ourselves to get that makes time fly so fast...I can remember being a kid and feeling like the school year was soooo long. . . and then summer, oh summer. Summers when you're a kid, there's really nothing like it.
This is a good year. . . .
lots of changes happening.
At the age of 28, I finally feel like I am moving in the right direction towards the life that God has planned for me.
simple.
full of life.
full of meaning.
full of love.
full.

Reading this book right now..."Animal, Vegetable, Miracle," by Barbara Kingsolver...and it's changing my whole view on the way we live here on earth. Along with her family, Barbara made a commitment to only eat food grown locally...and by local, they meant within an hours drive from there house. And in doing this, they only ate what was available seasonally. Novel idea, eh? This family labored in the garden from March till October, knowing that the food they so meticulously cared for, would sustain them. Lily, the little 9 year old, raised chickens, so she could start a business of selling eggs.... Camille the eldest helped her mom can insane amounts of tomatoes.....
long story short...this book has really got me desiring to live a place that will allow me plenty of room to garden...and maybe even have a couple chickens? Just to be able to go to farmers market, and really establish a relationship with the fellow growers.... and really know where your meat is coming from. Yes yes, it is more expensive...now, but if enough people commit to eating locally, the prices will drop----true, it might not be until our unborn children are our age---but wouldn't you rather leave them with that future? .... so in the past week I have bought local eggs and local ground beef from Lazy 69 ranch here in Redding...well actually we just started selling both of them at my store...and yes, it was way more than I'm used to paying but it made me realize, I don't have to eat meat with every meal anyway.... in the long run, isn't my health more important anyway? Wouldn't I rather know that what I'm cooking hasn't been injected with hormones or antibiotics??
anyway....
I've been thinking about what to do with my life....now that I'm all done with school, I feel like I should go on and do something with my Psychology degree...so all that money isn't wasted. But now I'm thinking, how cool would it be to go back to school and get a degree in Sustainable Agriculture or something like that? I secretly wish I could work on an organic farm. . . and really hope to have one of my own someday. I think that would tie in rather nicely with my dream of owning a B&B.....oh think of the incredible meals I could create with food from my garden.... *sigh*
I feel more and more that I want to live as simple as possible..... there is so much I can go without. And I feel like this is a season in my life that is pivotal in how I'll live the rest of my life....So in addition to cooking at home 5 nights a week, I want to cook local food as much as possible. Another aspect of learning to live without, Jeremy and I are selling our Honda next week, making us a one car family---I can't wait, I've wanted this for a long time. I want to start canning, like my mom and grandma used to. I want to start making my own deodorant and laundry soap..not just because it' the "green" thing to do, but because it just makes sense.
Poor Jeremy, he's probably thinking I've turned into some crazy woman :)
loves-a.

4.4.10 Easter

so Lent is over.
here's what I learned....
sacrifice is good and essential to my faith. I live a simple life, but a life full of luxury nonetheless. A life that gets so busy that I often find myself caught up in a whirlwind, forgetting my purpose here on earth.
Today I remembered.
Today I got to love on a friend of mine. Offer up encouragement and advice. Love. Listen as they bore their soul. Love.
I'm not sure what has happened with this little town that I live in...but I feel like so much evil has surfaced.....and it's all around me. I'm starting to feel like those new buds on the trees outside that just got hammered by the wind and the rain. Wondering when it's going to end...but it's not me that's hurting---it's those around me, getting hurt, hurting themselves. And my heart is just broken for them. So I guess I am hurting for those out there in the storm. Hardest part.....I don't feel like I am close enough to speak into their lives, or that even if I did, they wouldn't receive it how I mean it. . . . Ish. How do I explain it...... I'm not close to people here like I used to be, which saddens me, but it's so much easier to hear God when you're not caught up in the drama. I miss the community though. I miss having a church family that I can fit into. I miss having people to call when I'm bored.
Life is good nonetheless. God has been speaking to me about my future lately. And it's so wonderful to hear Him and see Him working in my life. It's so freaking exciting to see what the future holds. I'm in the Word every day again, which I'm eating up... it's incredible how stories I've read countless times, practically punch me in the face with a new understanding.
.............anyway.
Going up to Oregon for a few days with my mom this week. Grandpa isn't doing well...he's got a stomach full of cancer, with no option for operation. I have a feeling that it is going to be hard to see him....realizing it just might be my last. . . .
weird thing happened though the other morning... I hopped into the shower and was sudsing up...when all the sudden I was overcome with an urgency to pray for healing in my Grandpa. That God would cure the cancer....outta nowhere, I believed God could do it. Now don't get me wrong, I am a firm believer that God can heal the worst of the sicknesses in this world...but I've never been one that felt I had the authority to pray for it. that morning..I had it though. Not saying that my prayers will keep my Grandpa alive, because sometimes God has other plans, and one thing remains---His plans are always good. but....just feeling that, was a rush.
so I'm looking forward to that trip, going with my mom. Going to see my cousins and aunts and uncles, and my incredible Grandparents. I will forever remember being a little kid, laying away at night, listening to them pray for each and every one of their grandkids, every night. I need that kind of commitment in my life.
anyway....Happy Easter friends, quite a lonely one for me this year. Jeremy is with his family, I'm here. I roasted a duck. Making a mix for my trip. . . sigh...someday I will have a job where I don't have to work weekends..and especially holidays!
loves you all.-amy.

3.25.2010

something I've been chewing on lately....

"Give what you have to anyone who asks you for it; and when things are taken away from you, don't try to get them back." -Luke 6:30

pretty sure we all could use that reminder, eh?

loves-a.

3.4.10

since it's been a while.... figured you'd might have forgotten what I looked like. Here I am. A college graduate. Yep. Got my diploma to prove it. It's wonderfully strange not being in school anymore. I find myself sitting around in the morning, wondering what I should do with myself today. Clean house? Nope, did that yesterday. Laundry? Nope, folded and put away. Cook? Oh, that's right dinner is already in the crockpot...and some marinara sauce is bubbling away on the stove. And no, the marinara doesn't go with dinner tonight, I just decided to make some...well, because, why not? Made a batch of chocolate chip cookies today. Finished up two mix CD's for a couple lovely ladies today. Started going through magazines. . . ripping out pages. Need them for making collages. Collages for what you ask? Oh, who knows. I just feel like making something artsy. Blame it on Etsy. I've been pouncing every day for alteast an hour on that site.... wishing I was crafty and made crafty things.
Life looks quite different for me these days. My circle of friends has evolved. My daily routine is not so routine anymore. New roommates living in our lovely house. Time with Jeremy once again. The people I feel the most connected to, live 10 hours away. My heart is divided. Redding....oh Redding. I love you, but I do believe our time is quickly coming to an end. Dreaming about Idaho. Checking craigslist every day for houses and jobs. Wondering what life will be like up there. Missing ....people I've only spent 2 weeks of my life with, terribly. . . change ..... is on the horizon.
Lent seemed like an important thing for me to take part in this year....sacrifice & obedience.... something I can always work on in my life. Something my heart needs. Realignment for my soul. Facebook & alcohol. None of it. Not being on facebook has been strange. For the past couple of years, that's how we all connect. That's how we keep up with each others lives. And it's really got me thinking..... how sad it is that we know so much about a person just because of facebook...and that if we just met the person on the street, we probably wouldn't take the time to get to know them, because it'd take to long..it'd be inconvenient. But lurking at their page and pictures ..... that's different. I don't know.... it's just a strange time in history we're living in. . . And alcohol, well, I like detoxing from it anyway, for health reasons... it's weird how certain things are what you gravitate towards in social situations, or when dealing with certain emotions, or after having a long day. so.... so far, so good. I have till Easter...only a month away. Already, I'm learning so much about my heart....and how God sees it.
Music has made it's way back into my life.....well it's always been there, but I didn't have time to get crazy about it like I used to be. Ahhhh, feels so good to discover new music and make mixes for friends. Something in music just warms my soul. April is going to be incredible in the music realm. Jeremy and I are going to see Thom Yorke....and then the very next day, Jonsi. Lucky? for sure... Jealous? You should be.
Anyway....a little update for you..... if there are any of you readers out there anymore. Time to tend to dinner....and drink another cup of coffee---gotta stay up for the midnight showing of Alice in Wonderland!
loves-a.

onemoreday

dear blog,
I know that I have been ignoring you. . . that you have been placed on the back burner in my life...but good news, I finish school tomorrow! ....this means I will have plenty of time to write to you. I have missed you and have great anticipation for our future.
loves-amy.